Can we stop hating on other women because of their bodies and how they choose to show them on social media? How they look and what they choose to post on here is not a reason for you to bad mouth them. They are not responsible for how it makes you feel. You are responsible for that.
I recently have seen quite a lot of women shaming over social media especially when it comes to women’s bodies. I did an Instagram post but I wanted to expand on my thoughts and feelings as well as offer some coping tips. So let’s dive right in.
I want point out that if someone is using social media to promote toxic or damaging behaviours it deserves to be called out. I will always stand behind that, however this post isn’t about that. It about people consuming content and blaming the creator for the feelings that have been created, regardless of the creators intentions. And that isn’t fair.
When someone decides to post a picture on Instagram it is their choice what they post. It may not relate to the caption she puts below but who cares it’s her page. Our social media pages are ours, a creative outlet for us to use as we see fit. You might not like what someone posts and that’s ok. You might disagree with them and again that’s ok. But do you need to follow them?
If a woman posts a picture of her body on her page that is not an invitation for you to shame her. It’s not an invitation to start a debate on whether she is wrong or right for posting it. Unless she is posting it and saying ‘if you do this (insert diet / plan / detox ) you will get a body like mine’ then that will of course bring up feelings and I personally don’t agree or like those type of posts. But if it’s just a woman choosing to post a picture of herself to go alongside a regular caption why should she be blamed for it.
I want you to think about if someone’s body triggers you when you see them. Ask yourself why, why is this causing you to blame or feel negative towards her or you? Do you find yourself comparing yours to theirs? Or are you body shaming them because you believe it is unattainable for you or you don’t like it? These feelings are all valid and you are allowed to feel them, trust me I do at times. But it isn’t the women who posted the content fault, she isn’t to blame and I shouldn’t take it out on her. Instead I would focus on why I feel this way, is it a true feeling or is it a conditioned feeling.
If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others on social media here a few things you can try to help you:
- Remove yourself from the situation. That is what the unfollow and mute buttons are for, it isn’t a personal attack on them, they just aren’t helping you right now.
- Reframe your thought process. Instead of automatically comparing and shaming, you can admire and appreciate someone else without belittling yourself. Lucy Sheridan has a phrase ‘Good for you and same for me”, and in this situation it is perfect.
- Dissociate the message from the picture, do you agree with what she is saying / promoting? In the world of social media images of someone are more appealing that quotes. We like to see pictures of each other, alot of mirror selfies do well which is why they are used. I personally don’t post pictures with the intention to make anyone feel bad, instead I will have some words to say and pick a nice picture to go alongside. It is possible to listen to what is being said without brining our bodies into it.
We are all different, we are all unique and our bodies are all individually our own. That is what is so amazing about us, there is no perfect body, there are many incredible bodies. Just because someone else looks different to you doesn’t make them right and you wrong, in the same way it doesn’t make you right and them wrong. There is no need for us to pick apart each other or ourselves. We can support, admire and be inspired. Just as much as we can dissociate what a woman looks like and instead focus on that she is saying.
The big takeaway to remember WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. So what I like, you might not and visa versa. This goes for the content that you consume, you have to take ownership that you are consuming it. If you don’t like it, are triggered or caused hurt unintentionally then please don’t consume it. Just like you probably do with bad news and negativity, you could do the same for your social media feed. Remember you are only person who should have the power over how you feel – you are in control of your own narrative. No one else. It’s not on anyone else to make you feel a certain way nor is it their fault if they cause it without realising. This is where we work within ourselves rather than point blame.
To work on yourself I don’t mean talk yourself down, I mean be kind and listen to what your mind is saying. Journal if you need to, see what is causing you to feel the way you do. Take a digital detox and focus on you for some time. Start to work on accepting and appreciating your own self so that the negative feelings come up you can acknowledge them before remembering how incredible you are!
Let’s stop shaming each other and start bigging each other up. Focusing on what builds us up and makes us happy. Consuming content that helps, inspires and makes us feel good. Supporting other women do their thing without feeling like it is a personal attack because the chances are it isn’t.
You deserve to feel good.
You deserve to post what you want.
And so does everyone else.
As long as we are not intentionally hurting each other then if a post isn’t for you then that’s as far as it goes and you move on.
Let’s stop the shaming and remove the judgement. We all deserve that.
xxx
